SLOUCH AND HORDEUM TAKE ON: CIGAR CITY BIG SOUND

On many occasions we’ve regaled you, Gentle Reader, with tales of hoppy valor on the part of Tampa’s Cigar City Brewing Company- their flagship IPA (Jai Alai), Brown Ale (Maduro), and Imperial Stout (Marshal Zhukov) need no introduction, and have spawned numerous highly-rated derivations. In our last shipment from the snowbird Sixpacks, we received a collection of beers unrelated to these familiar standbys. With gusto, Herr Hordeum and I tucked into bombers of Big Sound, a Scotch Ale from our favorite Florida brewery.

NOTES: Slouch’s Beer Cave and Hordeum Ranch via Skype, rocking the Cigar City snifters.

STYLE: Scotch Ale

ABV: 8.5%

APPEARANCE:

Hordeum: An aggressive pour. No issues with this foaming up like the Seabass.

Slouch: Pours like cola…

Hordeum: C-O-L-A cola, … but smells more like grape soda.

HEAD:

Slouch: Same fizzy, tan carbonated head resembling cola, disappearing just as fast.

Hordeum: Two fingers worth.

LACING:

Slouch: Very little to speak of here.

Hordeum: But the carbonation is very fine, giving the beer a creamy texture.

NOSE:

Hordeum: Aforementioned grape soda, Flintstone’s vitamins, a little peaty funk but not as pronounced as some other scotch ales.

Slouch: Maple syrup, coffee, offset by a lactic sour aroma, burnnt rubber, bandaids.

TASTE:

Slouch: Take Shelter! Someone just detonated a malt bomb.

Hordeum: Maybe that is the “big sound.” Definitely not silent-but-deadly.

Slouch: Slight hop bitterness on the closing credits. Too little, too late?

Hordeum: This is a fruit bomb as well: tart cherries, prunes (wait, no, dried plums), raisins (wait… currants, that’s more pretentious), and other things I will make up later.

Slouch: Three words for you- “Dark Stone Fruits”

Hordeum: Oh man, my pancreas is kicking into gear. It could use some more hops to balance out the sugar.

Slouch: This beer could use more hops like William Wallace could’ve used a little help from Robert the Bruce at Falkirk.

Hordeum: Robert the Bruce (Three Floyds) is a better beer than this. While we are doing understatements, this beer could use more hops like Mel Gibson could use a sensitivity workshop. This beer could use more hops like “Blaster” could use more “Master”.

Slouch: Two men enter! One man leaves!

Hordeum: This beer could use more hops like “The Man Without a Face” could use a …. face?

Slouch: I’m gettin’ too old for this shit.

MOUTHFEEL:

Slouch: Frickin’ thick. This could come in a plastic bottle shaped like a woman of color.

Hordeum: Like a woman who is dating Uncle Ben?

DRINKABILITY:

Hordeum: Oh man, that is a big bottle.

Slouch: Yes, drinkability is low. But it is 40 degrees and raining outside (just like Scotland) so screw it.

RATING:

Hordeum: The bright fruit flavors are intriguing, but when it comes down to it, this is just too sweet.

Slouch: If this was some other brewery, I’d probably rate it lower, but I’m afraid to give Cigar City a bad review.

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5 comments

  1. LadyJay · ·

    This beer needs more hops like Hamlet needed a casting director who wssn’t high.

  2. Those scenes with Glenn Close were steamy though.

  3. I DON’T WANNA LOSE HEART!

    (Not terribly relevant, I just like to yell that sometimes.)

  4. beer-miester · ·

    are we talking a kilt lifter or what?

  5. UFO John E · ·

    correction…it’s from the south so it pours like fucking Coke…

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