BEER SEARCH TERMS: REDUX

I know, I know.  We already did this topic.  So what?  Aren’t you curious how like-minded individuals keep finding their way to the glorious entity that is aleheads.com?  I don’t know, maybe I thought it would be since I get to see all of the search terms and keep track of any oddity I see on this site.  You see, we’re growing leaps and bounds.  Not in revenue of course, since this is a free site and we don’t know how to monetize it.  We’re growing in the number of people that pop by the site now and then and are even kind enough to leave a quick comment.  I’m still shocked that so many people take time out of their day to read a little about beer and have a laugh over our little rants and ramblings.  Still, the search terms that come across are just crazy at times.  Now aren’t you curious to see the weird things people search for to end up here?  I thought so.

When we did this post back in January I listed the top search terms of all time (Since February of 2010) that would bring one to Aleheads.  Here’s the list again, with my lame commentary:

1) Coors Light - Yes, this is the #1 search term for our site.  I’m assuming this term does not bring repeat visitors, especially if you click on the “Coors Light” link I just posted.  When people search for Coors Light and come across an article that rips it apart, it’s probably not what they were looking for
2) Best Beer Names – Makes sense, since Brother Barley wrote roughly 182 distinct posts with some variation of this theme
3) Aleheads – Apparently that’s an obscure word that’s not actually in the dictionary.  Note to anyone out there that wants to start a blog – Make up a word for your title
4) Best Pale Ale – Who doesn’t love a Top 10 List of Pale Ales?
5) Best IPA’s in America – Again, who doesn’t love a Top 10 List of IPA’s?
Has anything changed in the past few months?  Not really, except that you can kick the “Pale Ale” search out and replace it with the general “Best IPA” search.  Best IPA almost replaced Coors Light as the #1 search term over the past quarter.  So freakin’ close too!  Oh well.  Since we’ve had a ton of traffic over the past several weeks, with boycotts and buyouts and all sorts of other crap going on in the beer world, we’ve had many new “Unique” visitors stopping on by.  By their search terms though, I’m guessing they won’t be back.  Here’s some of my favorites that we’ve seen recently, some of which actually have to do with beer this time around.  We’ve officially broken the internet with people searching for beer and ending up on a beer site!  Good job Google, good job.

beer with yellow label and red writing - Kind of boring, but you came to the right place.  Good luck searching our site though – Our archivist has taken a lengthy leave of absence

funny royal wedding pics - Dammit Beerford!  See what you started!  Those people definitely aren’t coming back

now thats an ass – thick round asses built for slapping - Uh, sure

which fruits is sweet before ripping and become bitter in taste after ripping - Farts?  Has to be

old woman drinking beer photo - One word – Sexy

is high life a good beer, coors light worst beer - Two search terms there, each searched multiple times, but I combined them into one.  I think people that searched these terms might have actually stuck around (Unless of course they wanted validation on that High Life questions without mocking sarcasm)

never start a land war in asia - You’re goddamn right you don’t

by the time i get home i’m too exhausted to have a drink - Booooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

why are america’s beer so bad? - Because it’s all Budweiser.  Don’t drink our beer, just go back to your pub stool and enjoy some crisps with your Mild.

why does chicago hate anheuser bush - Goose Island anyone?

is ipa the best beer - Yes, yes it is.  Thanks for asking

molecular level drawing of sugar in water - Nerd!  Nerd!  Nerd!

vanilla ice flat top - Let’s be honest, not a whole lot out there on Vanilla Ice.  I’m sure we’re the #1 source of info

bitchs - Don’t concern yourself with the spelling, it doesn’t really matter.  I’m just picturing someone searching for porn and mailing it with the search for “Bitches”.  Come on man, you’re better than that

tan cleavage, small cleavage - The sign that we’re officially a legitimate beer site.  3 months of searches, only 2 for cleavage.

I’m simply fascinated by this whole internet thing and the wondrous world of social networking.  I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing, really don’t care actually, yet I’m able to put up little thoughts here and there that people actually read (Or at least click on before getting back to their dirty little internet deeds).  We all enjoy writing on this site so even though we’re the official voice of absolutely nothing, it gives us all a smile when crazy search terms link to our posts and bring on new readers.  At least it makes me smile, and that’s all I really care about.

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5 comments

  1. I’m still disturbed that one of the search terms was “cyanide on the black market” one day.

  2. “never start a land war in asia”

    Initially, this one puzzled me more than the rest. I’m pretty sure we’ve rarely used the words “start,” “land,” “war,” or “asia” on the site, let alone all in one sentence.

    Then, I thought, “Oh yeah–Slouch Sixpack is my co-blogger.” Here’s where I found the quote: http://aleheads.com/2011/02/03/slouch-and-hordeum-take-on-marshal-zhukovs-imperial-stout/

    Awesome.

  3. Nurse Van Drinkale · ·

    Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m the one who came looking for Vanilla Ice on your site ;-) Awesome. Listening to a little Ice Ice Baby while I drink my refreshing Bud Light is how I like to start my weekend (sorry hubby, my terrible drinking taste is now public!)

  4. Having Slouch as your co-blogger is like having Jesus as your copilot, only drunker.

  5. captain · ·

    Just like jesus…

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