THE BEST BEER NAMES REVISITED

Three Floyds Apocalypse CowThe craft beer marketplace has become rather crowded these days. One way to stand out from the field is with a killer label. But designing a sweet-ass label takes time and artistic ability…two things many brewers simply don’t have. There’s also the “draft-only” issue to consider. Many beers brewed by craft outfits are keg-only, so a brewer needs another way to convince the drinking public to sample their wares.

Enter, the “awesome beer name”. With just a few choice words, a clever brewer can instantly connect with the public. Whether it’s a hop or style-related pun, a pop culture reference, or just something absurd, nothing gets an Alehead’s attention faster than a unique beer name. When our site was in its infancy, one of our first posts was a list of the 50 Best American Craft Beer Names we had ever come across. Years later, it’s still one of our most popular articles. Well, I figured it was about damn time I updated that post. So today, I’m unveiling a brand new, Top 100 Best Beer Names list. If you don’t see one of your favorites here, check that older list. And if it’s not there either, add it in the comments below. We don’t want any ridiculous beer names to go unnoticed by Alehead Nation!

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THE “NEW” BEST BEER NAMES

100. Men in Bock (Odell): The perfect beer name to start off the list. A dated pop culture reference. An obvious beer pun. And it’s fun to say. Count it.

99. Do It To It Gruit (The Bruery): When in doubt…rhyme.

98. George Brett Triple (Drake’s): You’re not doing any better than this name for a Tripel made with Brett yeast. The only problem with this beer is that the bottle neck is illegally slathered in pine tar.

97. Genghis Pecan (Clown Shoes): How do you honor one of the most murderous, pants-shittingly frightening men in history? With a pecan pie porter, of course!

96. Spleen Cleaver (Tommyknocker): I’m sure this beer was simply given a violent name in the tradition of many Scotch Ales (like Skullsplitter). But just try saying this one without humming Dream Weaver in your head. I dare you.

95. Whiskey Dick (Oskar Blues): Kudos for truth in advertising, Oskar Blues.

94. Blue Steel (Port): The problem with this beer is that it tastes EXACTLY like Port’s Le Tigre.

Dear God! It's beautiful!

Dear God! It’s beautiful!

93. Boom Shakalager (Terrapin): I can’t read this name without having flashbacks of NBA Jam. He’s on fire!

92. Tart of Darkness (The Bruery): Hey, it’s a dark, sour ale. What else would you call it?

91. Groundskeeper Spilly (Sixpoint): You want an easy “in” on this list? Just give your beer a Simpson’s pun for a name and you’re good.

90. Ratsalad (2nd Shift): I assumed this was in reference to the Black Sabbath song. But Urban Dictionary informs me that it’s also slang for throwing your pubes in someone’s face. Either way…awesome.

89. Cornholio (Short’s): Instead of a cap or cork, this beer uses a wad of TP.

88. Mash of the Titans (Odell): Like the B-Flats, this name gets less funny the more you say it.

87. Prescription Pils (Dogfish Head): Probably not as good as Oskar Blues’ Mama’s Little Yella Pils (from the original list)…but still pretty great.

86.  Nerf Herder (Port): Who’s scruffy looking?

Did we ever figure out what a "nerf" was and why it needed to be herded?

Did we ever figure out what a “nerf” was and why it needed to be herded?

85. Fest of Fury (HopWorks): Oktoberfest beers generally have pretty lousy names, but this one’s solid.

84. Chocolate Starfish (Left Hand): I truly hope Limp Bizkit’s ONLY legacy is this slang term for a butthole (and not their music).

83. Ca$h for Golden Ale (Pipeworks): I generally frown upon using a dollar sign in the middle of a name (hey, Kei$ha), but I’ll let this one slide.

82. Kangaroo Love (DuClaw): I don’t think this is even a reference to anything. I think it’s just a great name.

81. Uvula (Great Lakes): In a nutshell, your uvula is on the fritz.

80. Unicorn Killer (2nd Shift): I’m glad 2nd Shift is bringing attention to our growing unicorn over-population issue.

79. The Deuce (Sun King): Sun King’s second best poop-related beer name.

78. Montezuma’s Revenge (Sun King): And here’s their first.

77. Scary Jesus Rockstar (Dark Horse): I’ll bet this is a fun one to order in a bar.

76. Son of a Berserker! (Midnight Sun): Beers with exclamation marks in their names get bonus points from me.

75. For Those About to Bock (HopWorks): We salute you.

74. There Will Be Black (Brooklyn): Every time I kill a pint of this one, I yell, “I’m finished!”

Never. EVER. Touch my beer.

Never. EVER. Touch my beer.

73. Money Shot (Oskar Blues): Is this phrase used in anything but porn these days? Probably not.

72. L. Rauch Hubbard (Elysian): I’m sure Elysian was sued about 20 times since they named this beer.

71. We’re Only In It For the Money (Lagunitas): Great name…even more amusing if you know that Lagunitas generally sells the cheapest bombers on the market.

70. Stop, Hop and Roll (Bethlehem): A fairly stupid hop pun that I love for absolutely no reason.

69. Beerly Legal Lager (21st Amendment): Beerly Legal was the original name for our humble beer blog, so I couldn’t pass it up.

68. This One Goes to 11 Ale (Bell’s): This beer is made with little green globules.

67. Peter Piper Peppered Pale (Founders): Because fuck you for trying to order this beer, that’s why!

66. Snake Oil (DuClaw): I just love the name. Simple as that.

65. Pumpkin Brewster (Sixpoint): Remember that episode where Punky Brewster got stuck in a cave and all of her friends were murdered? That scared the ever-loving shit out of me when I was little.

Fine, it STILL scares the shit out of me.

Fine, it STILL scares the shit out of me.

64. Nugg E. Fresh (Ninkasi): The original human beat-box!

63. Alphaphylactic Hop (Upright): One of the all-time great hop puns. A double-pun even!

62. Cap’n Kickass (Piece): With Baron Von Awesome making our original Best Beer Names list, you can’t accuse Piece of being humble about their brews.

61. Marketing Ploy (Three Floyds): There are a few like this on the list. I love dry, blunt humor in a beer name. Gets me every time. Edit: Thanks to Bill at Piece Brewery in Chicago for letting me know that Marketing Ploy was a collaboration between Piece and Three Floyds. It was brewed for the 2000 World Cup to drum up interest for their respective outfits (hence the name).

60. Dry Humpkin (Cigar City): This beer chafes.

59. Grand Pappy’s Sugar Shack (Harpoon): I don’t know…it’s amusing. I would order it.

58. Hoppy Seconds (Oskar Blues): I assume this is just backwash from a Deviant Dale’s.

57. Abbey Normal (Sun King): Young Frankenstein puns always make the list

56. Cellar Door (Stillwater): The most beautiful two-word phrase in the English language.

I'll use any excuse to show a Stillwater label. Love 'em.

I’ll use any excuse to show a Stillwater label. Love ‘em.

55. Humulonimbus (Deschutes) : Makes the list because this is what I wanted to call the fictional IPA in my fictional brewery. Great minds think alike, Deschutes.

54. Ballsmack!!! (Avery): Three exclamation marks!!! Can’t argue with that!!!

53. Trippel Lindy (Sweetwater): The best Tripel pun on the market.

52. Ubiquitous Pale Ale (Pipeworks): Call it like it is, Pipeworks.

51. Standard Issue IPA (Pipeworks): Preach on, brothers.

50. Cimmerian Sabertooth Berserker (Three Floyds): Oh, Three Floyds…how much do you smoke before you name your beers?

49. Yippie Rye Aye (Sierra Nevada): Sadly, this is only the SECOND best Bruce Willis-related beer on the list.

48. Those Candies Your Granny Loves Brown Ale (Cigar City): I love a beer name that describes EXACTLY what the beer tastes like.

47. More Cowbell (Russian River): Fine, it’s clichéd and not terribly clever. All I know is that I’ve got a fever, and this beer is the only prescription.

46. Piston Honda (Dogfish Head): You should only drink this beer when it wiggles its eyebrows.

Remember when video games were wildly racist? Good times.

Remember when video games were wildly racist? Good times.

45. Up on Cripple Kriek (Cambridge): Best. Kriek. Pun. Ever.

44. Pepperation H. (Against the Grain): Best. Chili. Beer. Pun. Ever.

43. Over Hopulation (21st Amendment): Look, I like hop puns, OK! Sue me!

42. Gourd of the Rings (Cambridge): It’s a pumpkin beer. It’s funny. You laugh now.

41. Citra Ass Down! (Against the Grain): Even if Citra wasn’t the tastiest hop varietal around (which it is), it would be worth using JUST for this beer name.

40. Spruce Willis (Dogfish Head): Now THERE’S your best Bruno-related name.

39. Terry Porter (HopWorks): If any journeyman NBA player deserves a craft beer name, it’s Terry “I Don’t Have a Nickname” Porter.

Think this is the first time Terry Porter's image has been used on a craft beer blog? Probably.

Think this is the first time Terry Porter’s image has been used on a craft beer blog? Probably.

38. Modus Hoperandi (Ska): Great beer. Great name. ‘Nuff said.

37. Surge Protector (Blue Point): This one was brewed to raise funds for Hurricane Sandy relief. Get it? Took me a minute too.

36. You Will Fail Ale (Piece): Thanks for the pep talk, Piece.

35. More Consistenter (COAST): Here in Aleheads, we loves not good grammar.

34. Get to the Hopper (Port): Don’t worry, this won’t be the last Predator reference on the list.

33. Saucerful O’ Secrets (Firestone Walker): Hey, if it takes a beer to shed some light on one of Pink Floyd’s lesser-known albums, I’m all for it. Cool name too.

32. Duvil in Ms. Jones (Kuhnhenn): Solid pun. Duvil or duyvil means “devil” in Dutch and is often used in beer or bar names. And that’s…the more you know.

31. Junk ‘n’ Da Trunkle Dunkle (Port): Badonk-a-Dunkel made our first list. This is its obvious successor.

30. Fermentation without Representation (Epic): This one should be brewed in DC, but whatever. Still a good name. Edit: Thanks to the good folks at Reddit Beer for pointing out that this beer is actually a collaboration with DC Brau which is indeed a Washington-based outfit.

29. Roland the Headless Assistant Brewer (Piece): I have no idea. I’m sure there’s a pretty great story behind it though. Edit: A commentor below noted that this beer name is a take-off of a Warren Zevon song title. Now I like it even more.

28. Collars ‘n’ Cuffs (Piece): One of the great clean-sounding yet dirty slang terms in the English language.

27. Goser the Gosarian (Dogfish Head): The absolute best Gose-related beer name there is. I hope this beer is covered in bubbles.

If someone asks you if you love hops...say YES!

If someone asks you if you love hops…you say YES!

26. Java the Nut (Alesmith): A coffee and nut beer? Nailed it.

25. Apocalypse Cow (Three Floyds): One of the all-time great labels too. Love this beer.

24. Sextacula (Elsyian): Bravo, Elysian. Bravo.

23. Respect Your Elderberries (Allagash): Sounds like the title of a Monty Python sketch.

22. Judas Yeast (Beer Valley): I have to think Rob Halford would approve of this name. Seems like he has a good sense of humor.

21. Bangarang (Port): If it’s a Skrillex reference, I’m cutting it from the list. But for now, I’ll be optimistic and assume it’s referring to Ru-Fi-O!

20. Hoppy Ending (Palo Alto): There are a few breweries that use this name, but Palo Alto has the best label.

19. Larry Bird’s Haircut (Cambridge): I’m a Celtics fan, so this beer name immediately paints a hilarious picture for me.

Poor Terry Porter. Even in a beer article, he gets shown up by Larry Legend.

Poor Terry Porter. Even in a beer article, he gets shown up by Larry Legend.

18. Nonethewizer (Drake’s): Lots of German-style brews use the “wizer/wiser” suffix. None do it better than this one.

17. Pandora’s Bock (Elysian): A pun, yes…but also a killer name for a beer.

16. Hell or High Watermelon (21st Amendment): Stupid, perhaps, but you’ve got to smile when you order this one.

15. Hop Ness Monster (Lilja): A simple and perfect hop pun.

14. My Other Brother Darryl (Allagash): Finally, a Newhart-related beer. It’s about damn time (and yes, they also have a beer called My Brother Darryl, so you can order both).

13. Cream Dream II: Electric Boogaloo (Sun King): When Sun King started adding beers to their Cream Dream series, they decided to tap into that wildly popular internet trope…silly sequel names.

12. Cream Dream III: The Search for Hops (Sun King): Here’s #3…

11. Cream Dream IV: A New Hop (Sun King):…and #4. Well done, Sun King.

10. Bay and Pepper your Bretts (Against the Grain): Against the Grain might be the best beer-naming outfit around. Please remember to bay and pepper your bretts. You don’t want a litter of tiny bretts running around your house and infecting your beer.

9. Sweet Child of Vine (Fulton): Just make sure you don’t hold your breath for the follow-up to this beer…Chinese Demhopracy.

8. Me, My Spelt, and Rye (Cambridge): Easily the best grain-related pun ever concocted.

7. Another Caucasian Gary (Short’s): Right, Dude.

He may not drink a beer throughout the entire movie, but he's still the answer to the trivia question: "Which fictional character do you most want to have a brew with?"

He may prefer White Russians to craft beer, but he’s still the answer to the trivia question: “Which fictional character do you most want to have a brew with?”

6. Raucho Man Randy Beverage (Against the Grain): I can’t decide which one is better. This one…

5. Hacksaaz Jim Chuggin’ (Against the Grain):…or this one. They’re both perfect.

4. William Holden Belgian Golden (Drake’s): I’m sure Holden was a Scotch-man (just look at the guy), but I’d like to think he would have gotten a kick out of this absolutely perfect beer name.

Damn handsome.

Damn handsome.

3. Dirtbag McQuaig’s Malt Liquor for Fine Gentlemen (Great Lakes): Is it just me, or shouldn’t ALL beer be marketed to “fine gentlemen”?

2. Wet Hop American Summer (Dogfish Head): I keep this beer in the pantry, above the sink, right next to my bottle of dick cream…uh, stick…team. Stickball! Go away!

1. Carl Weathers as Dillon in Predator Imperial Cascadian Dark Ale (Fort Collins): You win, Fort Collins. You win.

You can't drink a beer with no arms, Dillon.

You can’t drink a beer with no arms, Dillon.

There you have it, Alehead Nation. Add your favorites in the comments below!

Barley

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49 comments

  1. I like Flying Fish’s Forever Unloved (FU) Sandy, with all the proceeds going to hurricane disaster relief. Because Sandy, seriously, fuck you.

    But I’m confused in your assertion that The Dude never drinks a beer in the Big Lebowski. Isn’t that the Oat Soda he orders from Virgil Earp? Or have I ben living a lie? And do you have to use so many cuss words?

    1. TWO oat sodas in fact. But he never actually drinks them. Just walks off and holds them in the air (presumably to impress Walter with the fact that he is, in fact, holding two oat sodas). Now, you may, of course, infer that he plans on drinking them shortly, but that’s just like, your opinion, man.

      1. I stand corrected. One Redditor pointed out that the Dude is CLEARLY drinking a beer while driving and listening to Creedence after getting “examined” by the Doctor. He spills it in his lap and drops his J right before finding Little Larry’s homework. Made the edit above…

  2. I’d have to go with Three Heads new Double IPA. The predecessor was the regular dubbed “The Kind,” while the double was dubbed, “Too Kind.” What great word play!

  3. Foothills’ Sexual Chocolate?

    1. AND it has a cool retro label too.

    2. Anonymous · ·

      Thank you. Best hands down.

  4. From Ottawa Canada
    HogsBack Brewing has a few
    Aporkalypse Now Oatmeal Bacon Stout
    Kilty Bastard Scotch Ale
    Full Monty English Brown Ale
    Sunofa Beach Kristal Wheat

  5. Kassiks Brewery- Morning Wood IPA (With the slogan, “Never let a morning wood go to waste,” and bear with a log sticking out in front of him on the bottles label.)
    Midnight Sun Brewing Company- Panty Peeler
    Elysian Brewing Company- Men’s Room (And the cool thing about this beer is a portion of the net proceeds from every Men’s Room Original Red sold goes to helping support the families of our military vets through the VA Puget Sound Fisher House and Ft. Lewis Fisher House.)
    Howe Sound Inn and Brewing Company- Total Eclipse of the Hop

    1. The Panty Peeler was definitely on the old list, but the Morning Wood and Men’s Room are both pretty great. I support any beer that donates money to charity. It’s the least we can expect from our cold beverages…

      1. My bad! Did not see Panty Peeler on the list you sent in the combined list of 50…found it on older posts. :) Cheers!

        1. BTW…always thought that Jailhouse Brewing in Hampton, GA has the best name for a brewery. What makes it great is their slogan, “Look for us behind bars”

  6. “29. Roland the Headless Assistant Brewer (Piece): I have no idea. I’m sure there’s a pretty great story behind it though.”

    This is referencing a song by Warren Zevon called Roland the Headless Tompson Gunner. Why did you include it in the list if you have no idea what it means?

    1. Because it’s a great name whether or not you get the reference. Thanks for the explanation…

  7. A few from Chicago…

    Solemn Oath:
    * Kidnapped By Vikings
    * Butterfly Flashmob
    * Skinny Jeans Are Ridiculous

    Pipeworks Brewing:
    * Ninja vs. Unicorn

    Haymarket Pub and Brewery:
    * Wilburt Wondersniff Double American Wheat

    1. All great names. Unicorns seem to really annoy brewers. Ninja vs. Unicorn, Unicorn Killer…and Pipeworks has another one called Blood of the Unicorn.

      1. In a 2012 Brewers Association poll, 85% of brewers described themselves as “Anti-Brony”. Look it up.

  8. I’m a movie dork, so when Hopworks had a double original ale aged in bourbon barrels that sat around 11%, I was all for “Boomstick!” Being an appropriate title.

    On that note, the Cream Dream title is actually a reference to a terrible and hilarious 80’s movie called “Breakin’ 2: Electric Buggaloo”. I rank it a little below The Room in terms of so bad it’s funny movies.

    1. “Boomstick” could be marketed as “a brew for primitive screwheads.”

  9. Fulton’s Sweet Child of Vine is a stupid name. Hops grow on a bine, not a vine.

    1. Technically correct, which we all know is the best kind of correct.

  10. Final Absolution from Dragonmead. Huma Lupa Licious from Short’s. Both are excellent.

  11. No Wildcard IPA???

  12. Fermentation without Representation is a collaboration with DC Brau and Epic brewing. It is brewed in both sites. So Fermentation without Representation is half brewed in DC

    1. Thanks, Anonymous. Edit made above…makes a helluva lot more sense now.

      1. Anonymous · ·

        Ha, no worries, looks like I was tracked down on Reddit. Just got the heads up there, all is well.

  13. Karbach Brewing’s “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out”

  14. Howe Sound from Vancouver has an Imperial Stout called Pothole Filler. Beaus from Vankleek Hill, Ontario has a great gose called “…and Boom Gose the Dynamite”. Great label too: http://www.beaus.ca/oktoberfest/beer#gose

    1. Great names. You Canadians need to unleash a Top 100 Beer Names from the Great White North. I’m not familiar enough with your craft scene to include them…

      1. Dirtbag McQuaig is from the Great Lakes in Toronto. the same fine folks who bring you ‘Audrey Hopburn”, No Chance with Miranda, Karma Citra, Burt’s Stache (a Movember beer). They also have Harry Porter and the Bourbon-Soaked Vanilla Beans. From Flying Monkeys in Barrie, they have offerings such as Hoptical Illusion, and SmashBomb Atomic.

  15. Scorned Hooker (Calfkiller) is the best that I know of…just sayin’. They also make a Scorched Hooker.

    1. now that right there is some funny names! you gotta try some beers named Scorched and Scorned Hooker!

  16. Anonymous · ·

    Humulo Nimbus is Sound Brewery, not Deschutes.

    1. They both make a beer with that name! I gave Deschutes credit because, you know, Abyss.

  17. Jim_the_Anvil · ·

    Back Hand Of God Stout by Crannóg Ales belongs on this list.

  18. check out the Flying Monkeys Brewery… Hoptical Illusion, Smashbomb Atomic IPA..

  19. What about “back hand of god stout”?!?

  20. [...] post. I thought it was interesting considering our recent post about beers with hop in their name. THE BEST BEER NAMES REVISITED googletag.display('div-gpt-ad-1360119973199-3'); __________________ Mike's Touring [...]

  21. Gramps McHops · ·

    Does “Green Death”, the unofficial moniker of Hafenreffer Private Stock count? It certainly lived up to it’s name.

  22. Justin Sloe · ·

    Beachwood Brewing’s new quadruple is called Jean-Quad Van Damme. http://gifs.gifbin.com/g6011619998.gif

  23. Sarcastro · ·

    From # 65, that episode of Punky Brewster also scared the shit out of me.

    1. I think it scared the shit out of everybody who ever saw it.

  24. F*ck Sun King. The beer names are much, much better than the beer they make.

  25. I was surprised not to see 2nd Shift’s Brew Cocky on the list. For my money that’s number 1. I mean, Brew Cocky! Plus the bottle is dipped and dripped quite sloppily in white wax. Hilarious!

  26. We had the wild and woolly RateBeer gathering this weekend in Jacksonville, FL and a couple that stood out was the Sandy Crotch Pale Ale (Beerfoot Beach Club) and Nut Sack Brown Ale (Engine 15 Brewing Co.)

  27. Best Over-all Brewery Name: “Ghost River” from Memphis. There is an actual Ghost River here…

    http://www.ghostriverbrewing.com/water.htm

  28. What?? No “Purple Haze” from Abita?? Raspberrys added after brewing!!

    http://abita.com/brews/our_brews/purple-haze

  29. [...] the days when households stopped being breweries). It’s bad enough trying to come up with a catchy beer name to make your product stand out…but with THAT many breweries in America, you also have to [...]

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