THE BEST (AND LEAST BEST) BREWERY NAMES

alesmithAt some point this year, there will be over 3,000 breweries either operating or in development in the US (the most our nation…or ANY nation has had since the days when households stopped being breweries). It’s bad enough trying to come up with a catchy beer name to make your product stand out…but with THAT many breweries in America, you also have to think long and hard about what to name your ale factory. You could go with the tried and true method and just name your brewery after local geography (Russian River, Fire Mountain, French Broad). Or you could name the brewery after yourself (Bell’s, F.X. Matt). But those names don’t always “pop”.

Now I know what you’re thinking…who gives a shit? Fair point. But just like beer names and beer labels, your brewery’s name IS an important marketing tool. Picture yourself sitting in a bar with a choice of two IPAs on tap. Which are you more likely to order? The “Stellar Brewing Supernova IPA” or the “Bird Poop Brewery’s Cloaca IPA“. The Cloaca might be head and shoulders above the Supernova, but there’s the embarrassment factor to consider. In that vein, I sifted through the thousands of American brewery names and culled out my favorite 50 (and, of course, my least favorite 50). It should go without saying that the name on the bottle has absolutely ZERO impact on the quality of the beer. In fact, my #1 least favorite brewery name is considered one of the great American ale factories. On the flipside, having a killer brewery name does not guarantee that you’re cranking out super suds. It’s just marketing. But since you’ve come to depend on the Aleheads to make superficial judgements AND to create utterly useless lists, I’d hate to let you down.

So with that preamble, let’s jump into the the 50 Best and 50 Least Best American Brewery Names:

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50 Best American Brewery Names

Let’s start with some names that inspire images of greatness. You can’t go wrong picking out an adjective brimming with promise and slapping it on every beer you make. The power of positive thinking and all that:

50. Fearless: I want my brewer to be fearless. Take chances. Push the envelope. Be brave.

49. Kinetic: Love the mental image of things in motion. A restless staff, foam bubbling over, canning lines whizzing away.

48. Vintage: Sure, it’s a word borrowed from the wine industry, but the term “vintage” is perfect for a brewery. Creates images of a throwback brewery, doing things the old-fashioned way.

47. Uncommon Brewers: Nothing wrong with being uncommon when you’ve got over 3,000 competitors.

46. Lucid: An odd adjective, but catchy. Granted, I’m rarely lucid after a few high-gravity brews, but it’s nice to think that the people making my beer are.

45. Perennial: It might be a new-ish outfit, but the name Perennial makes you think that the brewery has been around forever and will continue to be. Not a bad connotation.

44. Epic Ales: Whether or not their beers live up to the claim, who wouldn’t want to order an Epic brew?

43. Endless: Is there anything more appealing than ordering an “Endless Ale” in a bar?

42. Gigantic: OK…there is ONE thing that could trump an Endless Ale.

Big...BIG beers.

Big…BIG beers.

Can’t think of a good adjective for your beer? Don’t worry about it. Just use the word “liquid” in your name. People love to be reminded of which phase of matter their beer is in:

41. Liquid Hero: Just a super-appealing name. Their beer could be terrible and I would still order it all the time.

40. Lawson’s Finest Liquids: Unlike Liquid Hero, I actually have quite a bit of experience with Lawson’s. And I can assure you that it’s not just a clever name. Them’s some damn fine liquids.

You could also remind people that drinking is a social enterprise:

39. Our Mutual Friend: I love the idea of beer being everyone’s “mutual friend”. Because it is.

38. Wingman Brewers: Beer is, of course, the ultimate wingman. Every time you’ve ever talked to someone in a bar, who has always been right by your side? That’s right. Beer.

The next few might sound a bit repetitive, but there are few words better suited to a brewery name than “Gravity”. Beyond the fact that it’s a highly common phrase in brewing (gravity measure the relative density of wort or beer), it also implies that you make “serious” beer for serious beer drinkers:

37. Zero Gravity Craft Brewers: Granted, you don’t actually want a beer with a gravity of zero. But it’s still a cool name.

36. Original Gravity: The term for the relative density of wort before you begin fermenting.

35. Terminal Gravity: The term (also called Final Gravity) for the relative density of beer after fermentation is complete.

34. Gravity Brewing: Or just go with the simplest version.

Then there are those brewery names that evoke the sense of wonder and magic inherent in beer-making:

33. Strange Brewing: Sure, it’s probably just a McKenzie Brothers reference, but I like it.

32. Amnesia: Do the beers cause amnesia? Is that a bad thing? I don’t remember.

31. Wanderlust: What do you call an overwhelming urge to travel to breweries and sample new beers? Wanderyeast? No, that sounds like a social disease.

30. Mystic: There is something rather mystical about creating beer. Sure, science can pretty easily explain how it’s achieved, but then you’d have to, like, read and study. I’d much rather attribute fermentation to bodily humors and various pagan gods.

Some breweries like to remind drinkers that their products are hand-made:

29. Idle Hands: I’m guessing the brewers’ hands aren’t idle very often. Unless Eric Idle owns this brewery. Does he? That would be cool.

28. Tired Hands: Now that’s more like it. I expect my brewers to have hands so tired that shaking hands with them is like grasping an overcooked bundle of spaghetti.

Prohibition may have been just terrible, but there’s no problem in naming  your brewery after that hard-drinking era:

27: Speakeasy Ales & Lagers: One of the great American inventions (illicit drinking halls) also happens to have a pretty kick-ass name.

26: 21st Amendment: The 13th, 15th and 19th amendments were “probably” more important. But this is clearly the best one to name a brewery after.

If you’re still having trouble naming your brewery, just give it a classy, one-word name:

25. Victory: Their beers smell like napalm in the morning.

24. Elysian: If you find yourself in green hop fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are imbibing Elysian! And you are already drunk!

23. Revolution: I’ve been to the brewery. Can’t say whether or not they’re actually doing anything revolutionary, but it “feels” like they are. And that’s all that matters.

22. Evolution: Again, you don’t actually have to be on the cutting edge. You just need a name that implies that you’re a step beyond the competition. This one does that and then some.

21. Metropolitan: Sophisticated, slightly old-timey and classic. A great name all around.

20. Element: As simple as it gets. Kind of surprised it took this long for someone to take the name.

Some breweries capture your interest with offbeat names that are just damn fun to say:

19. Gritty McDuff”s: The “something-y Mc-something” meme has only been done better once (hint hint: this post’s author).

18. Captured by Porches: Great back-story. Started by a group of homebrewers who drank on their front porches. If a brew was particularly well-received, the group would feel almost “captured” by the porch. They seem to have run into some red tape issues with their operations this year so if you’re a lawyer who likes to do pro bono work in Portland, get in touch with CbP. They make great beer.

17. Brewer’s Art: Love this name. It automatically makes their beer taste better.

16. Crooked Stave Artisan Beer Project: It’s a bit frou-frou, but the name just pisses class.

15. Jolly Pumpkin Artisan Ales: One of the all-time perfect names. It perfectly evinces the combination of pirates, Halloween and eccentricity that define JP and their beers.

Yarrgh...

Yarrgh…

You also can’t go wrong if  you put the word “good” in your brewery name:

14. Good People: I’ve met them. They are indeed good people. Except for Cask Beerouac. That guy’s a disgrace.

13. GoodLife: Good beer = a good life. Also, love, friendship, health, and some measure of financial security. But mostly good beer.

I’m an absolute sucker for any brewery that ends in the word “works”. For some reason it evokes factories, constant movement and Raymond Scott’s “Powerhouse” for me:

12. Funkwerks: Slight demerit for the twee “werks” spelling. Great beer though.

11. Steamworks: Awesome.

10. Pipeworks: Awesomer.

9. Hopworks: Awesomest.

The Elite Eight. Just my personal opinion, but these are my eight favorite brewery names:

8. Dark Horse: The quintessential craft brewery name. Despite the massive growth of craft, the whole industry still feels like something of a Dark Horse.

7. Midnight Sun: No real explanation…I just love the name.

6. Rising Tide: Kind of evokes the whole idea of a craft community growing and rising together. Or maybe that’s just me.

5. Civil Life: Drinking craft beer is the epitome of a civil life. Nothing brings people together for good cheer and good conversation like good beer.

4. Full Pint: What better image for a brewery name to evoke than a full pint of brew? Makes you want to order another before you even have a sip of your first.

3. Sierra Nevada: Some people believe that the two-word phrase “cellar door” is the most beautiful in the English language. I believe that Sierra Nevada is the Spanish version of that phrase.

2. AleSmith: A name utterly perfect in its simplicity. What better term for a beer artisan than an AleSmith? It doesn’t hurt that they’re one of the all-time great American breweries.

1. Sweetwater: I remember when I was young and first heard of the band Soundgarden. I thought, “I don’t care if they’re any good, that is one of the BEST damn band names I’ve ever heard.” I thought the same thing the first time I heard of Sweetwater. It’s simple. It’s catchy. It’s memorable. And it perfectly captures the product that the company makes (OK, fine…Bitterwater makes sense too, but there’s a hell of a lot more malt sugar in beer than hop oil). Personally I think they give their beers some less-than-perfect names. They should just recognize that they have one of the great brewery names out there and keep their beer names simple. Ah well, they’re growing in leaps and bounds. They clearly don’t need my advice.

Spoonman...come together with your...wait? What was I talking about?

Spoonman…come together with your…wait? What was I talking about?

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That’s it for the 50 Best Brewery Names. But I know our readers love the negative stuff too (this is the internet after all). I won’t go too in-depth on each name in the following list. Hopefully my selections will mostly speak for themselves. Again, just because I’m putting the brewery in my 50 Least Best Brewery Names list does NOT mean that I don’t like them. Some of these breweries make absolutely incredible beers. It’s just a name and this is just a stupid list. PLEASE don’t take offense if one of your favorite ale factories shows up here. It’s just my opinion and as has been proven on this site time and again, my opinion is utterly worthless.

50 Least Best Brewery Names

For reasons I can’t begin to fathom, lots of breweries give themselves really unappealing animal-based names. I suppose it’s based on the old British pub-naming conventions, but I find a lot of these fairly off-putting. If nothing else, I’d be embarrassed to order most of these in a bar:

50. Gilded Otter: Again, even if it doesn’t sound so bad, picture yourself grabbing a stool at the local taphouse and ordering a “Gilded Otter”. Not happening.

49. Frog Level: Sometimes it seems like brewers are just playing Mad Libs with their names.

48. Slippery Pig: Just don’t put the word “pig” in your brewery name. No good can come of it.

47. Battered Boar: Or “boar”. Don’t use that either.

46. Wicked Beaver: Not the worst beaver-related brewery name.

45. Belching Beaver: This one is.

44. Turtle Anarchy: Never smoke weed before naming your company.

43. Donkey Punch: Why not call yourself the Rusty Trombone Brewing Company? Or Blumpkin Brewers?

42. Calfkiller: Nothing makes me thirstier than murdering baby cows.

41. Leech Lake: You know what I don’t want to picture when I’m ordering a beer? Bloodsucking worm-parasites.

Mmm...appetizing.

Mmm…appetizing.

40. Iron Goat: At least pick a cool animal. No one likes goats.

39. Two Goats: Even worse than one goat is multiple goats. They eat everything and have creepy eyes.

38. Weasel Boy: Just stupid.

37. Horse Heaven Hills: Actually kind of a pretty name if it didn’t evoke dead horses.

Some brewers try to connect with consumers with ridiculous names. They rarely work:

36. Kinky Kabin: C-words starting with K never fail to remind me of the Klan. That’s not a good thing.

35. Fun Hunters: Sounds like a group of lame Dads trying to convince their kids that they’re cool. “Hey gang! Let’s go fun-hunting tonight!” Let’s not.

34. Dad & Dudes Breweria: Speaking of lame Dads…do people still use the word “dude” when not referring to Jeffrey Lebowski? And “Breweria”? Sounds like a GI-problem.

33. Sweet Mullets: The use of mullets as an amusing meme died 15 years ago. Might as well call your brewery the Macarena Brewing Company.

32. Mr. Grumpy Pants: Who the f%ck would order a Mr. Grumpy Pants in a bar? They could make the world’s best beer and I would still avoid it like the plague.

31. Grumpy Troll: OK…let’s just make a pact NEVER to use the word “grumpy” in a brewery name.

30. Pinglehead: Based on their website, Pinglehead seems to be some sort of made-up clown. Clowns should never be used to sell anything ever (despite Ronald McDonald’s obvious claims to the contrary).

29. Clown Shoes: Exhibit B. Terrible name. But admittedly, I REALLY like their beer. Once again, this list is meaningless.

Craft beer drinkers are often not the most energetic lot. No need to remind them of that with your brewery name:

28. Fat Bottom: Their beer labels are actually cheesecake images of attractive ladies, but it’s hard not to think of your own, ever-expanding ass when ordering one of these brews. Not an image most drinkers want.

OK, so it's not the WORST image in the world.

OK, so it’s not the WORST image in the world.

27. Lazy Boy: It’s bad enough to remind beer drinkers of their own inertia, but they’re also clearly just ripping off the name of a VERY well-known recliner manufacturer.

Then there are those “meh” names that inspire absolutely nothing in the beer-drinking public:

26. Alltech: I kind of like their Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale, but Alltech sounds like a fictional company from Office Space. I don’t care if you’re an umbrella company that happens to own a beer factory…give your brewery its own name, dammit!

25. ManRock: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and naming your brewery after them?

24. Very Nice: I enjoyed Borat as much as the next guy, but you shouldn’t be naming your brewery after one of his catchphrases.

23. The Bruery: Let me be clear here…I love The Bruery and all of their beers. However, despite the insertion of Patrick Rue’s last name into his company’s title, he still named his place of business after the thing that it is. It might read fine in print, but saying it out loud just confuses the hell out of people. “Oh, who made this beer?” “The Bruery.” “Which one?” “No, THE Bruery.” “What?” It’s like an Abbott and Costello routine.

22. THAT Brewery: The only ale factory with an even more confusing name than The Bruery.

21. Thr3e Wise Men: Is that your brewery name? Or your e-mail password?

20. Excel: Almost as exciting as PowerPoint Brewing or the Sharepoint Server Beer Company.

Then there are those brewery names that are just kind of gross:

19. Worm Town: What? Was Maggot Town taken?

18. Onion: Yes, onions are EXACTLY what I want to think of when I’m drinking a beer.

17. Broken Tooth: I’ve already drunkenly smashed a beer bottle against my front teeth like 100 times in my life. I don’t need to be reminded of this.

16. Weeping Radish Farm: Fine, it’s a farm that happens to have a brewery on it. Still…radishes and beer simply don’t mix.

15. Dirty Bucket: I really don’t need the image of a filthy vessel in my head when thinking about a brewery.

14. Swamp Head: Yes, I know it’s a Florida brewery and the state has a lot of swamps. Doesn’t mean it’s a good name.

13. Twisted Snout: Bad enough name without the company logo showing a boar with a mangled nose.

The picture doesn't really salvage the name.

The picture doesn’t really salvage the name.

Some breweries inexplicably give themselves self-defeating names:

12. One Trick Pony: This would have been a good name for The Alchemist. Kidding! Kidding!

11. Below Grade: You’re just setting yourselves up for failure, folks.

10. Lone Pint: Why would you want your drinkers thinking about consuming a single beer before they even order? Self-defeating, I say!

9. Prison Brews: Named because the brewery is near a prison. Fine. There must be a more clever name than one that makes you think your beer is being brewed by felons in between license-plate stamping sessions.

The Not-So-Elite Eight. Again, just my personal opinion, but these are my least favorite brewery names:

8. Magic Hat: My relationship with Magic Hat goes back a long away and, admittedly, it’s not really that bad a name. The reason I include it here is that, back when craft beer was just coming into its own, I think a lot of people were turned off by Magic Hat’s rather twee, intentionally quirky name. I know it was founded by hippies, but I always felt that there were some Bud drinkers out there that could have been converted if only Magic Hat had a slightly less silly name. To me, it just seemed to imply all of the negative, “weird” stereotypes of craft beer back when it REALLY didn’t need that stigma. Probably over-thinking it. I tend to do that.

7. Butternuts: Terrible beer. Terrible name. Not over-thinking this one.

6. Mitten: Named after the shape of the lower peninsula. Some of the Aleheads had a friend who was nicknamed Mitten because he had one giant testicle and one tiny one. Therefore I can not take this name seriously.

5. Scars and Stripes: Forgive me for mocking the name of a brewery founded by army veterans. I work with many veterans and they’re the most responsible and thoughtful people I’ve ever met. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your service. I can’t wait to sample your beer when your brewery opens. PLEASE consider changing your name. Please?

4. Ass Clown: One thing you can say for the Ass Clown Brewery team…they clearly do NOT give a shit.

3. Spider Bite: Slouch Sixpack once visited me in my hometown and got so drunk that he booted all over my mother’s couch. The next time he visited, he slept on the same couch and was bitten by a Brown Wolf Spider. The bite got infected and he spent the next morning extraordinarily ill. We all accepted this as the couch’s revenge. The point is that Slouch’s infected spider bite was disgusting and therefore it should never be a brewery name.

Just be glad I didn't include a picture of a necrotic spider bite. Google it before you lunch if you want to lose some weight.

Just be glad I didn’t include a picture of a necrotic spider bite. Google it before lunch if you want to lose some weight.

2. Pig Minds: Actually sounds like a pretty cool brewery. But goddamn if that isn’t the worst brewery name I’ve ever heard.

1. Dogfish Head: You probably knew this was coming. Lord knows we’ve given DFH grief over the years despite the overall love they receive from the craft beer fans of the world. The name actually simply refers to a small jut of land in coastal Maine where dogfish are abundant. So really, no big deal. The reason they’re number one with a bullet on this list is because the brewery has been wildly successful DESPITE what is clearly just an awful name. You can’t say it without thinking of fish-heads…and then you throw dogs in there and really…it’s just a mess. It reminds me of the old SNL parody of the Smuckers commercials (you know, “With a name like Smuckers, it has to be good!”). SNL kept upping the ante (“With a name like Monkey Pus…” “With a name like Painful Rectal Itch…”). That’s what Dogfish Head seems like to me. If you can win over some of the most discriminating Aleheads with a name like Dogfish Head, you MUST be good. No one even thinks about how terrible a name it is anymore…but it IS! I swear! Or am I just taking crazy pills again…

There you have it. The Best and Least Best Brewery names in America. Which ones did we miss, Alehead Nation?

Barley

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73 comments

  1. A random beer geek · ·

    Check put threesrome brewery and their beer names on Facebook. Then make sure they show up on a WTF post for ingredients or beer names the next go around; you will know why when you read.

  2. Love the gladiator reference on Elysian. Whether it go on the best or worst list, you decide, but have to bring up Middle Finger Brewing.

    1. Never heard of them, Travis. Where do they brew? I agree…can’t decide if they’d make the best or worst list!

      1. Anonymous · ·

        Barley,

        Middle Finger Brewing is the name of my brewery which is in the very early phases of collecting capital. It would be located in North Georgia abut an hour north of Atlanta.

        1. Ah, very cool. Good luck and keep us posted!

  3. Hey, I like goats.

  4. Another great (and well researched) list. Mildly surprised Surly didn’t make the cut for 50 Best and Tommyknocker was knocked off the 50 Least Best (though, admittedly, my dislike of that name is greatly influenced by the fact that my craft beer research facility sink drain enjoys more of their beers than I do).

    Where would my homebrew brewery name fit in?: Honey Badger Brewery

    Cheers!

    1. Well-researched? How dare you accuse us of competency, Alemonger?!

      Surly’s a tough call. It’s a catchy name and pithy, but it has a mildly negative connotation (particularly for those of us who get a little surly after a few too many brews…I’m looking at you Commander). It would certainly be on my “next” 50 list though.

      As for Tommyknocker…the name is fine, but I agree about the beer.

      Honey Badger will be high-up on our eventual list of best homebrewery names. Homebrewers always have the best names because they’re the best people.

      1. I’ll have to send a bottle of Honey Badger IPA your way so you can carefully – though not competently – evaluate the label (and fine print) as well.

        Cheers!

  5. Gerry Khermouch · ·

    Re Dogfish Head, it reminds me of a long-running debate I’ve had with a friend in marketing over whether Turkey Hill is a good name for an ice cream brand. She voted for terrible because when you hear “turkey” the last thing you want is ice cream. I voted for brilliant, because it’s such a bad name that no marketeer would have ever come up with it, and therefore Turkey Hill must be an authentic place, and Turkey Hill Ice Cream an authentic brand. Similarly, in conjuring up an authentic place with a name no marketeer would create, Dogfish Head establishes that it’s real. My only quibble is the brewery’s in Delaware, so why name it for a Maine location, despite the warm memories the place holds for Dogfish Head’s founder? But hard to quibble with the brand’s success!

    1. I’m with your friend. I can’t stand the Turkey Hill name. I know it’s just a geographic location, but it’s impossible not to picture lunch-meat when you hear it and that’s not what you want in your head when you sit down to a bowl of ice cream.

      Agreed about DFH. Whether or not you like the name, it clearly hasn’t hurt their sales!

  6. Slumbrew definitely deserves a place on the worst list.Their beer might also deserve a place.

  7. In MN we have a new brewery boom… and thus we are getting some very, “interesting” names:
    Pour Decisions Brewery (really?)
    Big Wood Brewery (their flagship coffee beer is called ‘Morning Wood’)
    Dangerous Man Brewing (I actually kinda like this one, although strange)
    Bad Weather Brewing
    Steel Toe Brewing (great beer though)
    Flat Earth Brewing

    1. I don’t mind puns for beer names (as you can clearly see from our Best Beer Names posts), but I HATE them for brewery names. Ditto vague sexual innuendo. Flat Earth is decent and I do like Dangerous Man for some reason. Bad Weather is just kind of meh…

  8. Brilliant stuff guys!

  9. We should do a “bad brewery name” or “name of a bad jam band” post. Pretty sure “Worm Town” played the northeast college circuit in the early ‘aughts.

  10. SouthernSkies · ·

    One beer of Weeping Radish-Black Radish in the Outer Banks, turned me into a microbrewery beer snob for life! Love them!

  11. I’m a beer loving Brit who just loves the explosion of great breweries over this side of the pond. Calfkiller Grassroots Ale is one of the best I’ve found, they get their name from the Calfkiller river from whence they get their water.

    1. Grassroots is truly complex and delicious!

  12. CALFKILLER is the name of the river the brewery is on and from which they get their water to brew. If you drink one of their brews, the words “calf killer” would make you salivate! FAVORITE BREWERY!

  13. CALFKILLER is AWESOME BEER… It’s a nice river too.

  14. Calfkiller Beer is really good. It’s named after the Calfkiller River in the Cumberland Plateau area of Tennessee; the river apparently earned its name during flooding. The Sergio Brothers, who own the brewery, are great at PR and making everyone feel like it’s “their” beer. You ought to try it! My favorites are J. Henry and the Grassroots. :)

  15. Obviously you didn’t do any research into this project of yours or you would have found out that CalfKiller brewery (#42 on our worst list) is physically located on the “Calf Killer River” in Tennessee, hence the name. It has nothing to do with killing baby cows.

    1. I’m sorry…how does this matter? Dogfish Head (our #1) is also named after a geographic location. I’m sure Leech Lake (just after Calf Killer) is a real place too. You are not obligated to name your brewery after the nearby river if that river happens to have a tremendously unappetizing name. If I founded my brewery near the DeadBaby River, I don’t think I’d throw up my hands and say “Ah well…I’ve got no choice. The closest body of water is the DeadBaby, so I guess I’ll be brewing DeadBaby Dunkels for the rest of my life.”

      And as I stated repeatedly above, the name of the brewery has NO bearing on the quality of beer and it sounds like Calf Killer makes some spectacular brews. I’m glad that it has so many passionate defenders and I’m certainly not judging the quality of its products or its staff. I’m simply pointing out that it doesn’t have a name that immediately makes you want to buy its beer. That was really the only purpose of this list.

      1. Anonymous · ·

        Sweetwater is named after a river as well

    2. sounds like it is, if the river was named for the drowning of cows…

  16. Yolanda · ·

    This from a guy going by the moniker “Brother Barley McHops?” I hope your tongue was firmly in cheek.

    1. It’s a proud family name. We were originally the McHopensteins before coming through Ellis Island. I was named Barley after my grandmother.

  17. Smuttynose Brewing Company gets my vote for least best name.

  18. Chris P. · ·

    Even though it is contract brewed, Badwater Brewing has to be in the worst name list and the beer tastes just like the name.

  19. The 666 brewer · ·

    Fwiw, sweetwater took it’s name for the local Sweetwater Creek. I was lucky enough to go to their grand opening on Fulton Street. I am really pleased they are still doing so well.

  20. Fate Brewing should be on the worst list. Why, because there are two of them, one in Boulder and one in Scottsdale and they have nothing to do with each other. At a beer fest in Vail the program listed the Scottsdale brewery but the Boulder brewery was there. I would add Ska to the best name list.

  21. Hey- Seeing your name in print has to be good pub, right? We like our name!

    1. As well you should, Nick! I certainly wasn’t knocking your brewery. I’m guessing the inclusion of the “3″ in your name had something to do with securing the URL, right?

      This post was meant purely in jest and I hope none of the brewers on the list take offense. Like I said, many of the “Least Best Brewery Names” are actually some of my favorite ale factories!

  22. BrewMan · ·

    I would add any brewery name that uses an area code to the worst list. If you got your name from a phone book how great can it be? I don’t mind a beer with the area code name to illustrate your “local flavor” but it just seems lazy for a brewery name.

    1. I assume you’re referring to the (512) Brewery, BrewMan?

      1. BrewMan · ·

        I was not referring to any one in particular but all of them (I hadn’t heard of (512)). A quick search shows at least 10 from various parts of the country so this seems to be a growing trend. (512), 192, 303, 405, 406, 510, 515, 603, 612, 907. Maybe its just the rush to get a brewery open but they don’t seem thought out to me. I’m not judging the beers (as I haven’t had most of them) just the names. http://beerme.com/brewerylist.php

  23. Anonymous · ·

    “41. Liquid Hero: Just a super-appealing name. Their beer could be terrible and I would still order it all the time.”
    Their beer is terrible

    1. thewhiz · ·

      I agree, their beer is very unimpressive. Taste like something brewed in a garage from a kit. I’d love for a local brewery to be successful and the Liquid Hero guys seem like nice guys, but their beer just isn’t that good. Its kind of a dumb name too

  24. BrewMan · ·

    Submission for best brewery name; Toppling Goliath from Decorah, Iowa. The name says it all, you know what they’re about.

  25. “Weasel Boy” is pretty much the greatest.

  26. Hindu Elvis Pimp · ·

    Sadly, Sweetwater is not that great outside of their Porter and Motorboat.

  27. Anonymous · ·

    Frog level is named after an area in Waynesville NC. The name comes from the history… There are lines on the buildings where flood waters reached one rainy season hence the breweries location being at Frog Level. You try coming up with a brewery name some time. They are all taken. Guess they could just use binary code. Jackass!

    1. That’s a great story! A ton of the “Least Best” names come from weird local anecdotes like that. As noted above, my blog moniker is Barley McHops so clearly I have no ability to name things. If I tried to open a brewery, I’d probably panic and name it “Professor J. Q. McGarnickle’s Fabulicious Fermentorium” or something equally stupid.

  28. True story– Climax Brewing in NJ has been making great beer for many years– so good that legend Michael Jackson included their ESB in his “Best 50 Beers” in the world. Yet a big beer bar 100 yards from the microbrewery wouldn’t put any of their beers on tap–because of the name. Supposedly, the bar wanted to “protect” their female servers from customers demanding a Climax.

  29. Funny thing is I like alot of the Least Best names better…

    1. Sometimes we like the least best best.

  30. I think “Responsibly” would make great name, free advertising everywhere, “Drink Responsibly.”

    1. “Responsibly” is the name of a limited release beer by Nebraska Brewing Company in Papillion, Nebraska. Great beer!

  31. Radishes are an absolutely classic accompaniment to beer in Bavaria. Therefore, your article is invalid.

    1. And we all know that nothing bad has EVER come out of Bavaria!

      I’m not sure how anyone could consider this article valid. It’s mostly just a way to kill 5 minutes at work between meetings.

  32. As a woman, any brewery that has the word “tide” in it is unappealing to me

    1. I’m guessing you’re not a University of Alabama football fan then, huh Rosie?

  33. Add Heretic and Lucky Hand to the list of best names. And add Buffalo Bill’s and Dead Frog Brewery to the list of worst names!

  34. So what you’re saying is you don’t like animals?

    1. I love animals. I just don’t like to drink them.

  35. You missed Mother’s Brewing Company in Springfield mo. Best ever!

  36. You left out my favorite bad brewery name: Loose Stool Brewing. https://www.facebook.com/loose.stoolbrewing

    1. That would have clearly made the list. Never heard of ‘em!

  37. Adrienne · ·

    Love love love Wormtown brewery – don’t judge a book by it’s cover…. But if you do – it just leaves more great brews for the rest of us!!!

    1. I’ve had a handful of Wormtown brews and they’re very solid. As a native Masshole, I have a soft spot for Woostah. It doesn’t have the rural beauty of the Berkshires or the culture/academia of Boston, but it’s got its own classic, New England charm.

    2. The Liberal Republican · ·

      Adreienne, thanks for dropping a like to Ben and Wormtown Brewery!

  38. I always thought He’Brew was a clever/quirky name from this “kosher” brewery.

  39. #18 Captured By Porches sounds like an indie band name…

  40. Anonymous · ·

    Roughtail Brewery in Midwest City OK.

  41. There’s these two old guys (brothers, I think) and their brewery is called “Good Sex Brewing”. Um…duh. Sex is like Pizza. Even when it’s bad…it’s still pretty good.

  42. Wait! You don’t like the Grumpy Troll?!?

    Best brew in North America! Try their Maggie IPA or the Trailside Wheat. Great stuff!

    And the troll thing is because they are in Mount Horeb, WI, which was settled by a bunch of Norwegians – trolls’ their thing.

    How can you not like a beer named after Margaret Thatcher?

  43. What’s a bad name? Bad Brewing. What’s worse? They live up to the name.

  44. Beermonter · ·

    Taking a shot at Alchemist for only brewing one beer… when their main brewery (where they brewed many different beers) was destroyed by Tropical Storm Irene. Poor taste. Come up here to Vermont and make that joke, man.

    1. Jeez…craft beer fans are a lot touchier than they used to be. If I came to Vermont, would I actually be assaulted by locals for daring to point out that one of their regional breweries only makes one beer?

      I was actually just up in Vermont in November. I drank plenty of Heady Topper, visited the cannery, and loved it of course. I visited the brewery before it was flooded as well and drank a number of other beers there. However, I STILL think it’s perfectly valid to make a rather innocuous joke about a brewery that only makes one beer (other than their ill-advised gluten-free experiment, the Celia). I know Irene was devastating (I have family and friends up there), but it’s been two years and The Alchemist is still just pumping out only one brew. Entire breweries have been founded since then that make dozens of beers. I’m not knocking their beer. Hell, if you’re only going to make one offering, the Heady Topper is pretty much the best thing you can make. BUT, I hardly think it’s unfair to lightheartedly call them a “one trick pony”. For the moment, it’s true!

      Regardless, I’ll cancel that post I was going to write about those Ben & Jerry assholes. Wouldn’t want to be doused with boiling maple syrup the next time I set foot in Burlington.

  45. Thanks for the mention! No we didn’t make the best names list, but I’m ok with that. But please come pay us a visit if you are ever in the area.

    Cheers.
    DBB Crew

  46. Thanks for the mention. I find it an honor to be mentioned out of the thousands.
    Dirty Bucket Brewing Co. name stems from our long home brewing roots and pays tribute to where we came from. Only the name is dirty…
    Serving Great Ales to Dirty Minded People since 2012.

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