When Aleheads was but a mewling, week-old newborn, I made my first attempt at hamhandedly marrying my loves of statistical analysis and beer. Many similar follies followed. In that first stat-based post, I struggled to determine the best breweries in America based on a cumulative GPA. I used BeerAdvocate data and obtained an average GPA for all beers produced by a single brewery (as long as they had over 10 ratings a piece). It was an amusing exercise but the data wasn’t particularly useful. It gave a very “rough” indication of the quality of individual breweries, but the overall results were flawed. First, it gave every beer in a brewery’s lineup the same weight. So if you had a highly-regarded DIPA with 1,000 ratings and a novelty one-off with 10 ratings, they counted the same. Second, I somewhat haphazardly picked the breweries by simply asking the other Aleheads (just Doc and the Baron at the time) to name their favorite breweries (or at least breweries they had heard good things about). The results were a messy gathering of 46 ale factories (later expanded quite a bit). That list included small brewpubs like Minneapolis Town Hall and massive factories like the Boston Beer Company. That’s not even apples and oranges…that’s apples and oven-mitts. Read the rest of this entry »
THE BEST BREWERY IN AMERICA
February 24, 2012
6 Comments | 
Ale Factories, Best/Worst | Tagged: AleSmith, America, Bell's, Best Breweries, Cigar City, Founders, Hill Farmstead, Kuhnhenn, Russian River, Stone, Surly, Three Floyds | 
Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
GUEST POST: JOHN CONLIN HAS SOME TOUGH LOVE FOR CRAFT BREWERS
February 20, 2012
After our little piece on John Conlin and his wonderful blog about beer distribution, we asked if he might be willing to write a guest post for us. This morning, I got an e-mail with a “controversial” guest post penned by Conlin and a note asking me not to edit it. Apparently, Conlin overestimates our “editing” policies here at Aleheads. This ain’t exactly the New York Times. Below is his post, in its entirety, with nary a letter changed. It’s a fascinating, pro-distribution piece from one of the true experts in the industry. Whether or not you agree with his arguments, this is certainly worth a read for any Alehead. Read the rest of this entry »
10 Comments | Beer Industry | Tagged: Distribution, John Conlin, Three-Tier, Wholesale | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
AN OPEN LETTER TO THE ALABAMA LEGISLATURE
February 15, 2012
This building will determine whether or not Brother Barley can drink Rugbrod.
Dear Alabama State Senators and Representatives,
Hey! How are you? Awesome! You’re looking sharp. Love the new tie…
Listen…I’ve poked fun at you a few times in the past. Admittedly, there are some members of your august group that I find somewhat lacking in the intelligence/competence/moral fiber arenas. But deep down I know that most of you honestly do want what’s best for your state. This is your home. This is where your kids and grandkids live. Alabama’s prosperity is important to you and I know that, more often than not, you’re trying to make decisions that help your fellow citizens. Read the rest of this entry »
7 Comments | Beer Legislation | Tagged: 750, Alabama, Bomber, Craft Beer, Free the Hops, Gourmet Bottle Bill, Legislature | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
DRINK FOR DARTERS
February 14, 2012
Usually when you think of beer and marine life in the same sentence, it’s when you’re craving some beer-battered fish and chips (mmm). But thanks to some environmentally-conscious folks at Birmingham Southern College’s Southern Environmental Center, beer will actually be used to help SAVE fish. Imagine! Read the rest of this entry »
14 Comments | Brews in the News | Tagged: Birmingham, Darter, Fish, Good People, Southern Environmental Center | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
ALEHEAD NATION: ALABAMA
January 10, 2012
In honor of the Crimson Tide’s shutout over LSU in the NCAA Championship Game, I’m proud to present the next installment in our ongoing (but very sporadic) Alehead Nation series. So far we’ve given you the Alehead Map of America and Pennsylvania. Now here’s Alabama! This is a map showcasing all of the existing and upcoming breweries in the Yellowhammer State. There are currently 11 breweries operating or in the planning stages in Alabama. Not much relative to other states, but considering that there was only ONE operational brewery in the state just a few years ago, I’d say we’re making some serious progress.
3 Comments | WTF | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
ALL HAIL THE CONLIN
January 6, 2012We'd like to have a beer with this guy.
Beer bloggers love writing about breweries, brewpubs, bars, package stores, and beerfests. But there’s one facet of the beer industry we generally ignore…the wholesalers. There are a few reasons for this. First of all, distribution is an industry based on infrastructure and logistics. In other words, it’s kind of boring. Second, beer distribution is incredibly complex. Different states (hell, different COUNTIES) have wholly different distribution laws. Some allow breweries to self-distribute. Others require all breweries to sign on with a licensed wholesaler. When you combine an industry that is both legally complex AND prosaic, well…it’s no wonder you don’t hear a whole lot about the beer distribution industry in the blogosphere. Read the rest of this entry »
10 Comments | Beer Industry | Tagged: Anheuser-Busch InBev, Distribution, John Conlin, MillerCoors, Wholesale | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
THE YEAR OF CRAFT BEER
January 2, 2012
The Aleheads are officially declaring 2012 the Year of Craft Beer. Of course, we declare EVERY year to be the Year of Craft Beer, but I think that 2012 has a greater claim to that honor than almost any other year. Craft is growing exponentially, both in terms of volume output and reputation. This year will see that growth continue and craft will become even more mainstream than ever before.
While the year is only a few hours old, I’m going to throw out 21 bold predictions for 2012. They’re absolutely guaranteed…or your money back: Read the rest of this entry »
13 Comments | Beer Culture, Beer Industry | Tagged: 2012, Craft Beer, Predictions | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
ALL BEERS CONSIDERED #26
December 28, 2011
DOWNLOAD: ALL BEERS CONSIDERED 26
In this holiday edition of ABC, Slouch and Barley talk:
- –Beer sommeliers…necessary or pretentious?
- –The Boston Beer Company goes on a wild stock market ride.
- –What’s round on both ends with taprooms in the middle?
- –Dogfish Head targets the celiac market.
- –White Castle starts serving beer…because why wouldn’t they?
- –Yazoo turns infected lemons into infected lemonade.
- –…and one Alehead has a lot of time on his hands.
3 Comments | All Beers Considered | Tagged: Boston Beer Company, Cicerone, Dogfish Head, Ohio, RateBeer, White Castle, Yazoo | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
WHAT WOULD JESUS DRINK?
December 25, 2011
Today is Christmas. Or as it’s known in the McHops Monastery, “the day every goddamn liquor store in America is closed”. While the McHops clan has no tree, lights, stockings, or jollyness of our own (we’re nihilists…it’s exhausting), we fully recognize that today is somewhat of a popular holiday amongst other members of our species. A little on-line research reveals that today is considered by many people to be the birthday of a 2,000-year-old, trouble-making Jewish stonemason. Of course, a little MORE on-line research reveals that today’s date was probably pilfered by early Christians from the supposed birth date of Mithra, a Persian deity. And Mithra’s birthday was most likely lifted from an even earlier object of worship. Regardless, today’s the day that every goddamn liquor story in America is closed, so clearly this Jesus guy was a man of some import. As such, I’m tossing out a Conundrum to my fellow Aleheads:
If he were alive today, What Would Jesus Drink?*
*Please ignore all of the Second Coming/Rapture/Revelations implications of the question. Read the rest of this entry »
3 Comments | Holidays | Tagged: Christmas, Jesus, Rapture | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
“YOUNG PEOPLE REALLY LIKE IT.”
December 19, 2011
The face of evil.
Yesterday, Tom Long, the CEO of MillerCoors, talked to the Wall Street Journal about some of the obstacles his company faces in the coming years. With liquor, wine, and craft beer exploding, Big Beer has seen its overall sales stagnate. Long, who spent nearly two decades at Coca-Cola before jumping to Miller, is trying to right a leaky ship that continues losing market share to both craft beer AND arch-rival, Anheuser-Busch InBev. As the WSJ notes, MillerCoors has stayed in the black in these tough times thanks to cost-cutting measures and price increases, but that’s not exactly a long-term strategy for success. Long lets readers in on some new MillerCoors strategies in the interview. Since the man is a consummate corporate shill, we’ve decided to translate his responses for you from bullshit into truth. Enjoy! Read the rest of this entry »
17 Comments | Beer Industry, Beer Marketing | Tagged: MillerCoors, Tenth and Blake, Tom Long, Wall Street Journal | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
THE ALEHEADS HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE
December 15, 2011
‘Tis the season when we all follow the herd down to the mall and spend roughly 20% of our annual income on crap we didn’t have any need for during the first 11 months of the year. And that’s OK…without this orgy of consumerism, our great nation’s economy would regress to Grecian levels. Part of the joy of the spending-spree season is purchasing gifts for those you love (or at least tolerate for tax purposes). Of course, some folks are easier to shop for than others. The Uncle who collects Japanese tentacle porn? Buy him some Japanese tentacle porn. The wife who likes giant diamonds? Buy her a picture of a giant diamond.
But what about the Alehead in your life? How do you shop for someone who spends every waking minute thinking about and/or consuming craft beer? Whether you’re a family member/significant other of an Alehead or just an Alehead yourself looking to “drop hints” to your loved ones, you’ve come to the right place. This year, here’s what every Alehead will be happy to see underneath the wrapping paper: Read the rest of this entry »
6 Comments | Holidays | Tagged: Aleheads, Beer, Gifts, Holidays | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
INSERT HOP PUN HERE
December 13, 2011
You really haven’t made it as a craft brewer today unless you’ve given one of your beers a horrific hop-related pun as a beer name. Or if wordplay isn’t your thing, you can, alternatively, design a beer label featuring hops in some sort of ridiculous context. Some brewers manage to marry the two in a cavalcade of hop-related inanity. Scan the shelves of your local bottle shop, and you’re likely to see an assortment of cringe-worthy hop names and outright silly hop labels. Abiding these labels is a necessary evil for an Alehead. Yes, they’re kind of stupid. And yes, you feel like a dipshit when you have to order something called a “Total Eclipse of the Hop” in a bar. But such labels and names remind us that the heroes that brew our beer aren’t marketing or PR geniuses. They don’t worry about what beer names appeal to the widest demographic or what shade of red will catch your eye fastest on a tap handle. They’re brewers, first and foremost. And brewers are notorious for their goofy senses of humor and lack of pretension. You may find hop puns to be eye-rollingly corny, but to the Aleheads, they’re just another indication that craft brewers are focusing on the right thing…what’s inside the bottle.* Read the rest of this entry »
8 Comments | Beer Marketing, Best/Worst | Tagged: Beer Labels, Hop Puns, Hops | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
WHY TENTH AND BLAKE SHOULD SCARE YOU
December 8, 2011
A few months back, we wrote some fiery op-ed pieces in regards to Tenth and Blake’s purchase of an equity stake in the Terrapin Beer Company. Some readers agreed with us that Terrapin was selling a piece of its soul to a MillerCoors subsidiary that put profit above all else. Others felt it was simply an inevitable business decision by Big Beer and that we should embrace the move as long as the quality of Terrapin’s offerings didn’t suffer. It’s a tricky scenario and your response to the situation mostly stems from how important the provenance of your beer is to you. If you only care about the taste of your brew, then these kinds of stories should be meaningless. Right?
Today I’m going to argue that WHO brews your beer is just as important as what it tastes like. I realize that I probably won’t be changing any minds with my prose…but I felt that it was time to articulate something that the Aleheads have been tangentially discussing since our inception. Read the rest of this entry »
17 Comments | Beer Industry | Tagged: Craft Beer, MillerCoors, Steroids, Tenth and Blake, Terrapin | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
TEN MORE OFFENSIVE BEER LABELS
December 6, 2011
For reasons I can only begin to fathom, our Ten Most Offensive Beer Labels post went viral over the past week. Well…the Aleheads are nothing if not responsive to our readers. So in that vein, we’ve decided to unleash Ten MORE of the most Offensive Beer Labels on Earth. Most of these are suggestions from our commentors or our readers on Reddit and Fark (and some other less respectable sites). Quite a few come from Beer Here, the Danish ale factory that is renowned for their questionable labels. Regardless of where they come from, remember…we didn’t design ‘em. So don’t shoot the messenger. Read the rest of this entry »
7 Comments | Beer Marketing, Best/Worst | Tagged: Beer Here, Beer Labels, Buffalo Bill, Caldera, nIcebrew, Offensive, Piswasser, Schmaltz | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
ONE YEAR LATER
December 4, 2011
One year ago today, the Aleheads lost our colleague and dear friend, Magnus. It was a heart-wrenching experience for us and as part of the process of healing, we’ve used these pages to discuss the way our emotions about his passing have evolved. Today marks an obvious and important date in that process and we wanted to use this moment to talk about where that journey has taken us. Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | Magnus | Tagged: Magnus | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
WHAT IF EVERY BAND HAD A SIGNATURE BEER?
November 30, 2011
The Aleheads have noticed a curious trend over the past year or so…collaboration beers between breweries and bands. Ska Brewing devised a beer honoring the Toasters. New Belgium brewed a stout for the DC-based band, Clutch. And Dogfish Head recently released Faithfull Ale in honor of Pearl Jam’s 20th anniversary. That’s all well and good you might say, but when will 90′s pop sensation Hanson get their due?!?!
Your prayers have been answered my friend! The Hanson brothers announced today that they’ll be releasing an IPA called (and I’m sure every reader guessed the name immediately)…MMMhop! Well, of course they are. Read the rest of this entry »
10 Comments | Beer Marketing | Tagged: Album Covers, Beer Labels, Music | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
A THANKSGIVING SIXPACK
November 22, 2011
Everyone’s favorite meal of the year is upon us. And if you’re like most Aleheads, you’ll be gorging yourself on both food AND beer. But why just grab any random bottle of suds from the fridge when the Aleheads are here to provide the perfect beer/food pairings for Thanksgiving.
So loosen up your belt, grab a mixed sixpack of the following brews, and get ready to tell your goddamn relatives what you really think of them:*
*That they’re lovely, thoughtful people and you’re very thankful to be with them on this cherished, family holiday. Read the rest of this entry »
7 Comments | Holidays | Tagged: Ayinger, Bruery, Cantillon, Oskar Blues, Samuel Smith, Southern Tier, Thanksgiving | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
ALEHEAD NATION
November 17, 2011
When I was scouring the web for an image to serve as the intro to our Best Beer Labels post, I stumbled across a brilliant map of the US where all of the states had been replaced by local brewery logos. A number of readers asked for a higher-res image of the picture and I sadly had to explain to them that I hadn’t actually created the map. Read the rest of this entry »
13 Comments | Beer Culture, Beer Marketing | Tagged: Alehead Nation, America, Beer Labels, Breweries, Logos, United States | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
A LONG-GERMINATING BEER CONCEPT
November 15, 2011
How many times has this happened to you? You’re sitting alone in the man-cave your parents call their “basement”, watching Transformers 2, when you have a powerful hankering for the finest rice lager that a Brazilian-owned, Belgian-headquartered, multi-national corporate monstrosity can piss out. You look in your 10-year-old dorm fridge, still papered over in old Penthouse magazine covers, and you freeze. There are only two beers in there. A bottle of Bud Light, which just doesn’t have the ABV boost you need to numb yourself to your pathetic existence. And a bottle of Budweiser, which, at 145 calories, is far too heavy for those abs you’ve spent the better part of your three years of unemployment working on.
You scream to the heavens. “Why? Why has my God forsaken me? Why hasn’t Anheuser-Busch (the largest and therefore finest producer of fermented beverages known to man) devised a watery, tasteless lager with an ABV punch bigger than Bud Light but less calories than Budweiser?” Read the rest of this entry »
14 Comments | Beer Industry, Beer Marketing | Tagged: Anheuser-Busch, Bud Light, InBev, Platinum | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
ANCHOR VS. SAM: THE ALEHEADS (DON’T) TAKE A STAND
November 14, 2011
If you follow the legal machinations of the craft beer world (and really, why wouldn’t you?), you’ve no doubt come across the recent tiff between two craft beer titans, the Boston Beer Company and Anchor Brewing. In a nutshell, the BBC is suing Anchor for poaching a former employee who had signed an industry-specific, non-compete clause. We’ve let this story slide for awhile now for a simple reason…it’s not particularly interesting.
Admittedly, the Aleheads generally love getting our hackles up over breweries suing one another, but this one just doesn’t fire up the self-righteous posturing as much as other stories. First, it’s a battle between two of the biggest and oldest craft brewers in the nation. Anchor is essentially the granddaddy of American craft brewing and the BBC is far and away the largest craft brewer on Earth. We prefer at least one “little guy” in our posts about corporate maneuvering in the beer world. Second, we like stories that actually involve beer and brewing…or at the very least naming rights for beers and breweries. This lawsuit is about the most prosaic of corporate battles…a former employee potentially sharing “trade secrets”. That collective yawn you hear is why we ignored this one. Read the rest of this entry »
13 Comments | Beer Legislation | Tagged: Anchor, Boston Beer Company, Lawsuit, Non-Compete, Sam Adams | Permalink
Posted by Barley McHops
