We at Aleheads have talked about the button-pushing brewers at BrewDog a number of times. Mostly it’s in reference to their on-going battle with Schorschbrau over which brewery can create the highest-ABV brew in the world.
Well, it appears as if the Scottish ale factory has not only created a new “strongest” beer, they’ve also come up with one of the worst marketing gimmicks in history. The beer, called End of History, is being bottled in the carcasses of dead animals.
Now, I’m no PETA activist. The use of a deceased squirrel as packaging material doesn’t particularly bother me from an ethical perspective.*
*Although, if they used dogs, I would hunt and kill the BrewDog brewers myself and stuff a magnum of barleywine up their corpse-asses. Why don’t squirrels deserve equal respect as dogs? Because squirrels don’t jump up and lick me in the face when I get home. They’re stupid, stupid animals that run in front of my car when I’m driving to work.
Why do I take issue with BrewDog’s latest marketing gimmick?
1. Because it’s a goddamn marketing gimmick! Let your beer speak for itself! BrewDog actually makes some pretty decent offerings, but they’re completely overshadowed by their “shock” tactics. They’re like the Damien Hirst of the brewing world.
2. I really, really, REALLY don’t want to think about dead, rotting animal carcasses when I’m drinking beer. It’s essentially the last thing I want to think about. Why couldn’t they implant a beer bottle in something I would enjoy looking at? Like a cheese-steak? Or a lava-lamp?
Beyond the idiocy of the packaging, the End of History is also a 55% ABV beer. 55%! That’s absurd! Why on Earth would you ever, EVER want a beer that strong? I don’t even like cask-strength bourbon that powerful.
And then…there’s the price-tag. $750 a bottle. Yeah. Exactly. In a dismal economy, BrewDog has trotted out a $750 bottle of beer stuffed up a squirrel’s ass. Good luck with that, gents.*
*Of course, the possibility always exists that this is just a hoax. If that’s the case, it’s actually quite amusing and I retract the above post.