LADY JAY AND THE CURE FOR WHAT ALES YOU

Teh sexxClose your eyes (Figuratively. Keep reading.). It’s quiet.  You’re warm, relaxed, floating.  You take a slow, deep breath, and the scents of hops and yeast envelop you, a soothing balm to ease the pains of your hectic lifestyle. You open your eyes, and realize that you are soaking in a tub of warm, aromatic beer.  Is it a dream??

If you live in the United States, it probably is.  But if you live in Europe, it may be a reality.

For centuries, we have been trying to recapture our youth and vitality by bathing in all manner of weird crap, including mud, peat pulp, milk, the blood of virgins (you thought I was going to say crap, didn’t you? Grow up.).  Enter every Alehead’s secret spa fantasy: the beer bath.

This dream come true is brought to you by such staunchly beer-loving nations as Austria, Germany, and the Czech Republic.  Beer baths are touted not just for their (perhaps obvious) relaxing qualities, but their ability to cure psoriasis, cellulitis, and acne.  They also lower blood pressure, improve peripheral circulation, and modulate “mental disharmonies.”

So the next time you’re lying facedown in a puddle of your own vomit, relax.  At least you’re curing your acne.

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One comment

  1. Aw man, this is going to go to Lady Jay’s head.

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