25 REASONS TO HAVE A BEER TONIGHT

I won’t sugar coat this.  What we have here is a list of 25 reasons to have a beer on this fine Friday – November 18th, 2011.  The truth is, no one needs a reason to have a beer.  Drinking a beer is about a single occurrence that’s independent of anything else that’s going on at that moment.  The reason to have a beer is because you want it, not because you need it.  You don’t need beer and you sure as hell don’t need a singular reason to have a beer.  There are however a few times when you may have to justify having a beer.  If you’re pouring a Maibock over your cornflakes at 6AM, chugging an IPA while staring down into a casket, or even sipping on a Barleywine while performing laparoscopic surgery – Chances are you need to have some justification.  Maybe justification isn’t he right word, maybe excuse is.  You surly don’t need to justify to your wife why you’re slamming down beers while gripping the hand of her late uncle Pete, but it couldn’t hurt to have an excuse.  “Listen baby, it’s Arbor Day, I’m honoring Uncle Pete’s service to this country”.  See, the excuses don’t even have to make sense.  Best to be well armed though.
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So, here’s a list of 25 excuses to have a beer this Friday night.  You don’t have to use all of them, but keep one in your back pocket just in case.  And away we go…
  1. Remember Monday?  Then there was Tuesday and those little bitches Wednesday and Thursday.  Those days sucked.  Today is Friday, and it’s time to cut loose Loggins style.
  2. Well, you know your inlaws are coming into town next week.  Best to get rid of the good stuff before they’re drinking your oak-aged Imperial Stouts out of the bottle (Or in a frosty mug, just to really piss you off)
  3. Because every craft beer you buy slowly kills off the giant corporate conglomerates and brings them to their knees begging for an end to the movement.  No, I guess that’s not really true, but that’s never stopped me from having a beer, or seven.
  4. Shhh…Have you heard?  Beer tastes good.  You’ll just want you to trust me on this one.  I am a Doctor
  5. Does Oskar Blues GUBNA really taste like rotten onions and is it a ploy by OB to take a jab at Baby George Bush by creating an awful beer?  Or, is it one of the best Imperial IPA’s on the market.  Wouldn’t know unless you’ve tried it, would you?
  6. Give me one good reason you shouldn’t be drinking tonight.  Go on, I dare you!  That’s what I thought.  Careful with this one as it could land you in an intervention by Saturday night, depending on your tone.
  7. One word, four syllables.  Say it with me now:  Lah-goo-knee-tas.  Lagunitas.  Lagunitas.  Reason enough right there…
  8. Because you know you haven’t tried Ithaca Flower Power yet based solely on the awful labels and terrible name choice.  Damn shame, go get some.
  9. Those weak brain cells aint’ gonna kill themselves, ya dig?  Time for some Spring cleaning!
  10. Go to your fridge right now.  Open it up, push everything aside, and grab that last Oktoberfest that’s sitting all alone.  If you see a Sam Summer Ale tucked behind it, best to drink that too.  Again, time for some Spring cleaning.
  11. When is the last time you’ve had a Porter?  I like Salopian Entire Butt and Smuttynose Robust Porter if you need some suggestions.
  12. What else are you gonna do tonight?  There’s not a damn thing on TV.  Drinking makes things better.
  13. USA!  USA! Not sure what that means, but it sure gets people excited.  Guess we should celebrate that.
  14. It’s Latvian Independence day!  Well, there was that 50 year period of occupation in the middle, but I like their choice of using the original date.  Classy.
  15. What better day to head to your local package store and grab a beer from the closest brewery you can find.  I’m heading to Idle Hands of Everett, MA tomorrow to fill up a growler at their tiny nano brewery, but tonight I’ll be drinking Clown Shoes out of Ipswich, MA.  I live in between those two places so I feel good about that.
  16. You need to drink a lager.  Yes, I know you’re an “Ale”head, but don’t ignore the other side of the aisle.  If you haven’t had Monschoff Schwarzbier and Ayinger Celebrator Dopplebock, you’re missing out.
  17. Dude, you’re reading a list of 25 reasons/excuses to have a beer.  That’s sad.  Speaking of sad, anyone else out there drinking alone?  Yeah, me too…
  18. Your friends may tell you that Saisons, Witbiers, and bubbly German Hefes belong in the Summer.  Who do you respect more, your friends, or some random dude on a beer blog that may or may not be a 12 year old girl with impressive Googling skills?  All styles – All seasons.  Words to live by.
  19. Because you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.  Do you feel better about #17 now?  Yeah me neither.
  20. Let’s reflect and celebrate the life work of Drake, an integral part of the American fabric.  I’ve provided the link to the aptly titled November 18th .  Such a classic.
  21. Because you haven’t had a Guinness FES since last Winter.
  22. Also, because Jesus is watching.  Show the man you have good taste.
  23. I don’t know, because beer is awesome maybe?.  That’s a reason, an excuse, and a justification all rolled into one.  “Honey, why are you drinking that last Imperial IPA when that 6 pack should have lasted till’ tomorrow?  Because the first 5 were awesome, that’s why!”  Or, “Why don’t you wait until we get home to crack that open?  Because beer is awesome!”  Oooh, good luck with this one.  Might work for the girlfriend or boyfriend, but you’re fucked if you’re married.
  24. Because you keep telling yourself to try something new, yet you still haven’t had anything from half of the smaller breweries in the store.  For example, I’ve never had anything from Crooked Tree or White Birch.  This ends now!
  25. Today is the anniversary of Walt Disney’s Steamboat Willie, the predecessor to basically every cartoon ever made.  How can we possibly not celebrate that?  I propose a Season 8 Simpsons marathon, including such classics as “The Homer They Fall”, “Mountain of Madness”, and of course one of the greatest episodes of all time, “Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment”.  Oh, and beer, that should be included too.
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12 comments

  1. CZAR VLADIBEER S. BOOTIN' · · Reply

    One reason to have 25 beers tonight: Svetlana.

  2. Your post inspired me to pick up that old favorite, the Gubna. It is, Sir, as I have said, an Imperial IPA that smells like onions; and yet, there are those who love it.

    1. The GUBNA is, without a doubt, an odd beer. I happen to love the almost savory flavor of the hop profile but I can see where others would hate it. I’m fascinated by this beer.

  3. I too am fascinated, on account of I’ve never had an Oskar Blues beer. I hear they’re good? Make some sort of decent pale ale?

  4. Jimmy Hoppa · · Reply

    Yeah, Oskar Blues makes a really good Pale Ale, “Dales Pale Ale.” Imo it is up there with the Lagunitas Pale for a good all around beer. Their Ten Fiddy Imperial Stout is a force to be reckoned with as well. Don’t think they have very wide distribution unfortunately. Here in Cali we’ve been getting their stuff for 3 years. Lucky us.

  5. I was just kidding, Jimmy. I know all about all their products, although I’ve never had any. Unfortunately, they don’t distribute to Illinois yet. 😉

  6. Nothing more depressing than not being able to get an oft-talked about beer. Deschutes, Three Floyds, and Bells are the three that I’m desperately hoping will make they’re way out to New England. Of course, Russian River would be icing on the cake, but I’m not holding my breath for that one. In the meantime, I’ll be face deep in cans of Oskar Blues if you need me.

  7. Ripped…I’ll see your Deschutes, 3 Floyds, and Bells, and raise you a Cigar City, a Ninkasi, and a Terrapin (yeah, yeah…quiet down, Barley).

  8. Jimmy Hoppa · · Reply

    Every other week when I pick up a new bottle or four of Pliny or Blind Pig, I am reminded of how fortunate we are to have Russian River widely distributed here. Still, I’d give my pinkie toe to have Three Floyds or Founders distributed here so I don’t have to load up my suitcase every time I fly back from Chicago.

    You guys ever considered doing some sort of beer swapping community so that those who don’t get certain beers in their area can get to sample some new stuff?

  9. Jimmy, we do the occasional beer/wife swap among ourselves, but nothing I’d consider a communal thing. Since we’re run on a free server we’re pretty limited to activity that resides outside of our author circle. Beer Advocate has a great community for beer trading though, which I consider to be the best attribute of the site. If you’ve got some tasty beer in surplus, chances are there’s someone looking to trade for it.

    I happen to live in the great state of Massachusetts, so I’m likely to get deported at the very mention of illegal interstate transport. God forbid something crosses into the commonwealth without a hefty tax.

  10. […] 25 REASONS TO HAVE A BEER TONIGHTHome Brewing at Mash.Sparge.BoilA Good Ol’ Fashioned Beer Tasting25 REASONS TO HAVE A BEER TONIGHT […]

  11. When in doubt.. you can also check out http://www.shouldihaveabeernow.com 🙂

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