ALEHEADS FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT REPORT

MyanmarGot a wire from Piels today as he travels in a steamer ship to parts unknown. It was hard to decipher through the poorly translated morse code.*

*Kids today. Can’t even be bothered to learn their dots from their dashes. And don’t even get me started about how little semaphore they’re learning in school these days.

Our man of mystery is floating through the Indian Ocean in a haze of malaria and syphilis (the latter honestly acquired). Here’s his report:

******************************

In Sri Lanka. Stop. Sampling Lion beer from the Ceylon (British colonial name for Sri Lanka) Brewery. Stop. Sri Lanka’s first, now owned by Carlsberg. Stop. Tastes like it too, sort of a slightly darker Singha. Stop. F’ing Dutch. They are as good at beer as they were at colonization. Stop. End of message.

Next up, Myanmar beer. Stop Now, the Burmese seem to know their shit. Shockingly good lager. Stop. Starts off with almost IPA like hop quality, fades into a rich finish without turning sour or bitter on the palate. Stop. Something about mouthfeel, because that word always needs to be said. Stop. All in all, it is the beer Bud Light Platinum dreams it is when it nocturnally emits. Stop. End of message.

Looking forward to reporting on Dagon and Mandalay beers when I can get ahold of them. Stop. If Kipling could find “Bottles of strong army beer” in foreign places, so can I. Stop. End of message. End of transmission.

Piels

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